Thursday, February 21, 2008

Adam and Eve

Has anyone noticed that the absolute HARDEST thing to do is make a male/female relationship work? Can I hear a collective shout from all around the world......? UGGHHHHH!!!!! To ease the pain for all of you men and women around the world let me give you some understanding. Like my Grandmother always used to say, "In all your getting, get understanding". So here we go.......

Back in the Garden of Eden, Man and Woman had it made. Man and Woman had no struggles and no relationship confrontations. That all changed when Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate from the tree of knowledge. It was the FALL of MAN. In the Bible, one of God's punishments for Woman for disobeying him and eating from that tree is submission to Man. And in Genesis 3:16 God said to the Woman....

"Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

And in God's punishment for Eve is the key to why we all have struggles in our relationships. In one fell swoop God made Man to rule over Woman and he made Woman's desire to be for her Man. Now the word "desire" doesn't mean only a want or a craving. The Bible uses that word "desire" as in to cleave to or to want to be like. In other words God cursed the Woman to be forever ruled over by the Man but be forever tormented by the craving yearning to be like the Man's role and rule over him instead of him ruling over her! Are you kidding me??? How in the world are we men and women supposed to have successful healthy relationships if we are doomed and cursed to forever be butting heads in a power struggle???

See this life that God created is a paradox. Anything worth getting is hard to get. Opposing forces work together all for good and the glory of God. In this particular paradox of Man and Woman's forever battle for rule over each other, God knew that this struggle would bring Mankind closer to Him because it would take the Man and Woman to submit to God's rules in order for their relationships to work and be successful. And God knew that the only way for Man and Woman to do this was to do so through their spirit and not through their flesh. For the flesh is weak but through the spirit Man can do all things. So the key to making our relationships work is for women and men to follow the rules as God laid out for us which is for man to rule over the woman and the ONLY way for the relationship to succeed is for the woman to submit to her man's rule over her. In Ephesians 5:21 the Bible says "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." And in Ephesians 5:22-24 the Bible says "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church sumits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." It is futile to fight it women..... but you all will fight it. Fighting it is part of the same curse God put on women as punishment for eating from the forbidden tree of knowledge.

Aw heck no!!!! I can hear all you women around the world snapping your necks and smacking your lips in protest. Believe me I totally understand because in this day and age of radical liberal feminism and ever since the women's rights movement to push for man and women to be equal partners. But I am telling you like I know the sun rises that God's way is the ONLY way to make relationships work. God's way forces us to die of ourselves and our natural desires in order to follow His will. It takes work and sacrifice and sweat and tears.... things weren't this hard back in the good ol' days of the Garden of Eden. Man we had it made! But ever since those blissful days ended everything that is good is exremely hard to get. But God knew that Eve would fail and that Adam would fail. But it was all part of His plan to make Mankind seek Him and follow Him. God knew it would be hard for Man to grow closer to Him as long as Mankind was given everything and had all its needs provided for. God knew that the devil would tempt Eve to disobey Him and that Eve would tempt Adam and that they would fail and be driven out the garden. But it was all part of God's plan to make us grow closer to Him so that one day, as Believers, we will be back in a new Garden of Eden and that's heaven.

In order for our male/female relationships to succeed men have to have compassion for women's curse of internal struggle to rule over us. In having understanding and compassion of woman's battle, man will be better rulers by taking into consideration the nature of who they are ruling over. It will aid the man in being more patient and amicable in problem solving and dealing with woman's "attitude" and not take it personal when the woman is defiant and want to lead him and rule over him. And men, in order to expect Woman to let you rule over her, men must seek to be as righteous as they can. Men, the more righteous you are the more your women will want to let you rule over her.

But to ensure success in our relationships it definitely takes both the Man and the Woman doing their part. So in order for male/female relationships to succeed women have to understand that it is NOT a issue of Man being superior and Woman being inferior. Women, to deal with God's curse that He put on you, submission and dying of yourselves and dying of your natural desire to rule over your man is a must. It is extremely hard to do women......but everything worth getting is hard to get. And men.....it is extremely hard to be a compassionate ruler who can limit his authority in order to "ride out the storm" when the woman falls to her desires of flexing her want to rule over you....but it is required cause everything worth getting is hard to get.

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."
-Ephesians 6:11
"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground...."
-Ephesians 6:13

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Like you said you can hear women all over the world protesting but I do second you on that. The man is the head of the house.
I believe this should be the case as it is even stated in the bible. I shall quote you here “In Ephesians 5:21 the Bible says "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." And in Ephesians 5:22-24 the Bible says "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the saviour”.
I believe the man is the head of the family and should thus be respected that way. But in the modern days of today women earn as much as men or much more than men and with the whole new generation of equal rights women I must admit has taken the step a little too far.
You will be surprised I am a woman myself but I have decided to allow my man rule the house when I get to that stage. As I have decided to obey God’s rule. (That does not mean he should abuse me physically, mentally or psychologically)
Its high time women realised a man is a man and will always be a man and a man is the Master of the home regardless if he is jobless or penniless.

Vic

Bukenzo said...

Very importantly like you have stated, a man and a woman must know who they are in God, for their relationship to work. Lots of people are in relationships seeking what an individual cant give. When you expect so much from a human with flaws, you set yourself up for misery. God is the source of all good gifts.

Chidi Ahanotu said...

Vic,
Wow! I am suprised that you are a woman and have the same viewpont & beliefs about the man and woman roles in the household. Yes you are absolutely correct in that it is NOT about who makes the most money in the hosuehold. It is about keeping in line with the word of God and conducting our lives accroding to his rules. If and when we do that our relationships will succeed. There is something in the Christian faith call "Limiting your Authority". It is a practice based on gaining success by decreasing your power&position. It is based on one of the cornerstones of the Bible which is humility. Women who make more money than their man could apply this pracitce of limiting your authority in order to have a successful relationship. Primary thing women want from their man is love-and God commands men to love their women. The primary thing men want from their woman is respect-and God commands women to respect their men. So if both parties are doing what they are commmanded to do, regardless of who makes the most money, them the relationship WILL WORK. Glory!

-Chidi

Chidi Ahanotu said...

Bukenzo,

Yes you are aboslutely correct. Lots of people are in relationships seeking what an individual cannot give. In our new world society where empahasis is placed on "doing it your own way" instead of doing it "God's way" we lead oursleves to our own destruction. But even so we continue to stubbornly make up our own rules and do it our own way confident that ONE DAY we wil find that mate that will see things the same way we see things. That ONE DAY rarely comes and when it supposedly does come it rarely lasts. That is why divorce is so high today. If we would all operate from the same set of rules (The Bible's rules) then imgaine how much heartache and agony would be avoided. Keep your focus on Him and you will be blessed.
-Chidi

Chidi Ahanotu said...

Vic,
Wondering where are you from and what part of the world do you live in?

Raena said...

Mr. Ahanotu,

First off I don't know if you remember me, but I babysat your awesome kids for you during the summer of 2006 and some parts of 2006.

I heard about some of the stuff that you had been going through and I wanted to let you know that you've been in my prayers.

In response to this blog...this scripture is of key importance to anyone in a Christian relationship. However, the husband loving his wife as Christ loved the Church should be emphasized just as much as the bumission part. If a man uses that as a goal in loving his wife a woman will have no problem submitting.

Women bristle at the word submission because they immediately think of a man ordering her around. However, submission should not be viewed as the scene in Coming to America where Vanessa B. Calloway's character is told to hop on one foot and bark like a dog...

Another biggie that is emphasized in the Bible, but is largely ignored is the topic addressed in 1 Cor 12-20. What are your views on that?

-Raena

Chidi Ahanotu said...

@Raena,
Great hearing from you. Of coure I remember you! I was wondering why you vanished from our lives. Guess when all the negative mess happened you had to distance yourself from me. Totally understandable. Human nature is to let fear run our lives and to err on th side of caution and to think the worst. Its quite alright.
Thanks for your view point about this difficult topic. Indeed, the man loving his woman like Christ loved the Curch is just has important or maybe even more important than the submission aspect of the scripture. It is in fact that key to the engine that without it the relationship will struggle. And yes submission is very hard and bristles a lot of women. As you said, the word submission conjures up thoughts in women minds similar to that seen in "Coming to America" when Eddie Murphy tells his bride to be to hop on one foot and bark like a dog. But that is exactly evidence the LOVE your woman like Christ loved the Church was not being practiced by Eddie Murphy towards his bride to be. If he had been loving his bride to be the way Christ loved the Church he would not have been humilaiting her in that fashion. Definitely, this scripture is a two part working engine similar to realtionships like an employer/employee or President/vice president or a coach/player. All of these relatonships require both to do their part to succeed and coexist. This is the picture that I wish women would conjure up in their minds when teh word submission is used.
As for your question about the book of Corinthians, I am unsure which passage you are referring to because you did not type which chapter you are refering to. Write me back and let me know. Hope you are doing great in school as I know you have always done!

Be blessed
Chidi

Chidi Ahanotu said...

@Raena

Chidi Ahanotu said...

@Raena
By the way I am curious...how did you find my blog???

-Chidi

Chidi Ahanotu said...

@Raena
....thank you so much for your prayers

Chidi

Raena said...

Oops Chapter 6.

I switched mobile carriers so I lost all of your contact info, that's why I didn't K.I.T. (not because you had some drama). I'm glad that everything is ok though.

School is great! I'm actually studying in NC right now. USF has an exchange program where you can go to a diff school for a yr, so here I am! But I move back at the end of this semester, and I'm excited to come back. But grades are good and everything.

I found the blog cause I googled you lol. I hope you don't mind me being nosey..

Anywho feel free to keep in touch through email it's Raenajoy@gmail.com

Oh and how are your boys? They were really the most well behaved kids I've ever watched (and that's saying a lot : )

Chidi Ahanotu said...

@Raena
First off the kids are doing wonderful. Their Mom and I had a custody battle and I lost. So the kids miss daddy a lot but I am still fighting for them and appealing the judges decision.
Secondly, Corinthians 6:12-20 is probably one of the hardest most difficult of God's word to follow. Like most of God's word, sex is a paradox. What feels so good is so bad. What feels so good can be so bad. I wrote a blog about "America the Beautiful, America the Backwards". I am going to write another posting about how our society is also backwads in regards to our approach to sex. Yes we should not have premarital sex. But we has a society should emphasize getting our young people to marriage early on in their lives before hormones and sexual temptations become too much to bear. How can we expect people to obey God's command of no sex before marriage if we tell people to wait to marry till after college, then after we get a job or career. In ths day and age we are not supposedly "ready" to marry untill we are settled and stable in our careers. Well by then most of us are 35 or older! No way can we wait this long to have sex! My God! Anyway stay strong and put God first. Marriage is the most important union between man and woman. So we need to put developing that union as #1 priority in our lives and school, jobs and careers, and money should be placed after marriage in importance.
Happy Easter
-Chidi